“Are you good at it?”
It kind of caught me off guard and left me with an uneasy feeling. I still don’t understand why it bothers me, so maybe writing about it will help.
At first an innocent question in hopes to foster connection and friendship, turned into distance and unfamiliarity.
They asked what I like to do in my free time, and I responded with drawing and art.
It’s the follow up question that caught me fumbling for words and confused.
“Are you good at it?” Was the question.
Seems pretty innocent and a fair question to ask doesn’t it? But for some reason I couldn’t come up with a satisfying response.
It felt like a set up. If I answered yes, then I felt arrogant. If I answered no, then I felt I would come across insecure, weak and uninteresting.
I didn’t understand why it mattered whether I was good at drawing or not, what mattered to me was that I enjoyed drawing.
And so I stood in the awkward silence. Unable to express these thoughts in a cohesive way.
Had I ruined our chance at a connection? I’m not sure I like being asked that? I’m sure they meant it innocently, so why am I so caught up with it and unable to let it go?
Has anyone else had this feeling before?